Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Married for 21 years and no longer feel happy
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Old 08-21-2009, 05:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
Momof6
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2
Unhappy Married for 21 years and no longer feel happy

Hello there. I have been married for almost 21 years to my High School Sweetheart, we dated for 8 years before we got married. So we've been together for almost 30 years.
The past few years I really haven't been satisfied in my marriage. Things changed between us and we haven't gotten back to where we used to be.
I find he has changed quite alot in many areas and alot of the time I cringe at what he does,what he says etc. He's very old fashioned and not totally for women's lib. He somewhat beleives a wife should be there for her husband to cook,clean,be at his beck and call, etc.
When we were 1st married I was actaully doing this but now I am quite resentful of his way of thinking. I found since I gave up catering to his every whim,which he was used to at home with his Mom, things changed between us. We have 4 daughters and I don't want my daughters growing up thinking that their job in life is catering to a man's every whim and being a doting,dutiful wife.
I want them to be independent and to be able to rely on themselves and not a man. I jokingly tell them never to marry,to stay single and enjoy themselves, but sometimes I'm serious.
I don't think my dh is totally happy with the way things are either and he is so not the type who'd go for counselling or evn to talk things out. He's not good at communicating at all.
Just wondering if anybody else who's been married for a long time and/or has been with the same guy for many years feel this way?
We have 6 kids and I'm feeling the kids are detecting my unhappiness in my marriage and I don't want to stress them.
Thanks for any input!
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