Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Limited Sex

Cindy · 05-10-2008, 05:02 PM

I'm a wife and you are not alone! My husband feels exactly like you! But if you are like him, you would rather chew your right leg off before you'd go anywhere else. We've gotten a bit better though so let me share...

First, your wife, like so many of us, is rather ignorant to how important sex is to you. We ladies don't get it. It's not that big of a deal to us that's why we can go for months without it and even make jokes. I now understand for you guys, it's like you can't see clearly after 3 days! It's something you just need, like oxygen.

Secondly, ignore all that crap about flowers and romance, it's not going to put your wife in the mood. It's going to cause more pressure, because it's to motivate her to have sex, not b/c you suddenly felt the love. Flowers and romance, to me, are better after sex. Then it feels more like sex was appreciated instead of you just washing your hands kind of thing.

Be careful though, otherwise you get caught up in the vicious cycle of "I need romance", "well I need sex" "give me romance, I'll give you sex" "I'll give you romance when you give me sex", and pretty soon it's like wiping your butt with a hula hoop..never ending....arguing and no one gettin' any lovin'.

My husband says that when he is satisfied sexually (and we are still working on his), that's when he WANTS to buy me flowers and do sweet things. He's more understanding and patient with me, (he doesn't mind so much when I told him how much I spent, lol). Seriously, I actually see a difference in his mood and self esteem, which makes me feel great as his wife, which makes want to keep "going there". You should have your wife read this. At one point I wondered, why am I arguing my way out of good time?

Ok, last; having kids does take it's toll on a sex life. Guys, it's not an excuse, some of it is hormonal, which we can't help, but we are freakin' wiped out with babies! Seriously, going from milkmaid with a baby to hot honey hoe in the bedroom is a lil much on the ol' scattered mind there! Take the kids for a few, bring home dinner, let us take a shower or bubble bath in peace so we can mentally go from one to the other. We know you guys could do it in your sleep, but we would take 20 min of sleep over 20 min of sex. I know, crazy huh? So, make a deal, promise your wife a break for a lil nookie in return, she just might take you up on it. Good luck and hope this helps. Makes me feel better we're not the only couple like this, and even better off than some. Yikes!

05-10-2008, 05:02 PM	#25 (permalink)
Cindy Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 30	Re: Limited Sex - Arguments I'm a wife and you are not alone! My husband feels exactly like you! But if you are like him, you would rather chew your right leg off before you'd go anywhere else. We've gotten a bit better though so let me share... First, your wife, like so many of us, is rather ignorant to how important sex is to you. We ladies don't get it. It's not that big of a deal to us that's why we can go for months without it and even make jokes. I now understand for you guys, it's like you can't see clearly after 3 days! It's something you just need, like oxygen. Secondly, ignore all that crap about flowers and romance, it's not going to put your wife in the mood. It's going to cause more pressure, because it's to motivate her to have sex, not b/c you suddenly felt the love. Flowers and romance, to me, are better after sex. Then it feels more like sex was appreciated instead of you just washing your hands kind of thing. Be careful though, otherwise you get caught up in the vicious cycle of "I need romance", "well I need sex" "give me romance, I'll give you sex" "I'll give you romance when you give me sex", and pretty soon it's like wiping your butt with a hula hoop..never ending....arguing and no one gettin' any lovin'. My husband says that when he is satisfied sexually (and we are still working on his), that's when he WANTS to buy me flowers and do sweet things. He's more understanding and patient with me, (he doesn't mind so much when I told him how much I spent, lol). Seriously, I actually see a difference in his mood and self esteem, which makes me feel great as his wife, which makes want to keep "going there". You should have your wife read this. At one point I wondered, why am I arguing my way out of good time? Ok, last; having kids does take it's toll on a sex life. Guys, it's not an excuse, some of it is hormonal, which we can't help, but we are freakin' wiped out with babies! Seriously, going from milkmaid with a baby to hot honey hoe in the bedroom is a lil much on the ol' scattered mind there! Take the kids for a few, bring home dinner, let us take a shower or bubble bath in peace so we can mentally go from one to the other. We know you guys could do it in your sleep, but we would take 20 min of sleep over 20 min of sex. I know, crazy huh? So, make a deal, promise your wife a break for a lil nookie in return, she just might take you up on it. Good luck and hope this helps. Makes me feel better we're not the only couple like this, and even better off than some. Yikes!