Re: Need opinions
I empathize with the pain you have expressed feeling.
I can't speak for anyone other than myself, so take
what I write as valid only to the extent that it is in
your case.
For me, there is a line that, once crossed, is very
difficult to cross back. And that's the line of
bad faith of which lying is an example. When
someone shows bad faith in any relationship, it spells
hard times and possibly disaster for that relationship.
The fact that the relationship is one of marriage
doesn't change this. In fact, it mainly seems to
exacerbate it.
If the person committing the wrong can't find it within
himself or herself to be sufficiently & sincerely contrite;
when there is a good deal of blame-shifting in an effort
to get one's own way at the expense of that
individual's supposedly beloved spouse, that speaks
volumes to me.
I know of no pain-free solutions. I only know this:
when a healthy person is in a sick relationship,
eventually the sick relationship will come to an end
because the healthy person "can't take it anymore," or
the offending person will become sufficiently contrite
and motivated to fix things, acknowledging his or her
own responsibility without blame-shifting, accusations,
or conniving games.
In most instances, I don't hold my breath for the
offending person to change. It can and does happen.
But not very often in my experience.
I can't know, of course, but you sound like an
overall healthy person to me. I wish you best of
results - whatever they may come to be.
Regards,
Bal
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