Quote:
Originally Posted by draconis
Have the sheriff or local police escort you so there will be no trouble.
draconis
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I agree with this if making this dramatic change is truly necessary (I'm
not saying it's not necessary), and if there's a reason that the move has to be made while the kids and boyfriend are in proximity. That's essentially giving him license to hold your kids hostage so as to control you.
Questions and comments for you to consider...
1 - Have you really played the cards in your hand fully and honestly?
2 - If so, and you have to move the kids, is there any reason you
want to make the move with them and your boyfriend where he can force his will upon you?
3 - Maybe this should have been my first question, but I'll ask it here: what is the legal status of the kids? Are they by both of you? Does he have a paternal claim?
4 - While it sounds like his mom is a significant source of difficulty, the responsibility is for him to "grow up."
5 - When he said "I don't know," to your question about whether he wanted to stay together or not, I didn't get any ambiguity about what he meant. What I "heard" was "yes - as long as you do thing my way." You said he behaves like a 5 year old? The description you made of his behavior makes this seem an accurate assessment.
So - why do you want a relationship with a 5 year old? Is it because he's the father of your kids or some kind of dysfunction within you? (Note: I'm not saying that I'm right. I'm just asking - no judgment whatsoever. Sometimes we - and God know I - can be blind to the nature of our own problems.)
6 - Final question. And please understand that again - I'm not saying this idea is any good in your situation. I'm just asking, OK? Are there problems that you can just take action on without his input? For example, buying if you need a new stove, can you just go ahead an buy it? (Start with something smaller though if you can.) Then if/when he challenges you, the answer would be that you tried to talk with him but he shut you down. What would his reaction to such efforts be? Do you have any concern about him getting violent or would he just sulk? The latter is something that you can deal with. Violence is a different thing altogether.
I don't know you or him, and I'm not a marriage counselor - so all I can do is ask questions and hope they're somewhat helpful.
Sometimes one can really use a professional's help, though even professionals can prove problematic. The ultimate responsibility for your own life is - for good or not - your own.
I hope things work out for you and your kids (and even for your boyfriend, though not at your expense).
Regards,
Bal