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Screwauger · 05-12-2008, 03:49 PM

Hi,

I have a problem and need some advice.
I have been divorced for ten years. I am the non-custodial father of two daughters ages 20 and 23
My oldest is graduating college next weekend.
I live outside their home state and have for ten years.
I have been welcomed by their mother and her family for both girls high school graduations and after parties at their cottage.
Both HS graduations, my significant other (Laura) was invited and went and all seemed to have fun without undue stress or discomfort.
My ex and her mother are planning nuts and have the entire graduation week/weekend planned for my daughter.
There is a dinner planned on the Saturday evening before her graduation (my SO and I are staying at the dorms as part of the parent accomodation.
My daughter called and asked my specific arrival time as her mother had made the dinner reservation to include me and she wanted to know if I would be going to the dinner else she wanted to get some of her deposit back
Long/short they did not make a dinner reservation for my significant other. When I asked my daughter to inquire about adding a seat at the table she balked and offerred to have a friend go in my place if I didn't want to attend without Laura.
I am full of guilt and rarely see my children now that they are older. In fact I have not seen my oldest daughter since last June when her sister graduated high school (and then only briefly).
Out of guilt, I called my daughter and said that I would have Laura entertain herself and I would attend the dinner.
In hindsight, I am torn. It will be the only opportunity to see my daughters outside of the formal graduation ceremony.
I do not want to offend or slight my partner
I told her (partner) about my dilemma and she seemed sure they could add her to the reservation. When I told her my daughter seemed reluctant, she made a joke and we did not continue the conversation.
Do I take my lover out to dinner in a strange town and ignore my children or, do I snub my lover and see my girls as it is a rare and fleeting opportunity?
Thanks for any input one might have.

05-12-2008, 03:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
Screwauger Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 5	Graduation Dilemma Hi, I have a problem and need some advice. I have been divorced for ten years. I am the non-custodial father of two daughters ages 20 and 23 My oldest is graduating college next weekend. I live outside their home state and have for ten years. I have been welcomed by their mother and her family for both girls high school graduations and after parties at their cottage. Both HS graduations, my significant other (Laura) was invited and went and all seemed to have fun without undue stress or discomfort. My ex and her mother are planning nuts and have the entire graduation week/weekend planned for my daughter. There is a dinner planned on the Saturday evening before her graduation (my SO and I are staying at the dorms as part of the parent accomodation. My daughter called and asked my specific arrival time as her mother had made the dinner reservation to include me and she wanted to know if I would be going to the dinner else she wanted to get some of her deposit back Long/short they did not make a dinner reservation for my significant other. When I asked my daughter to inquire about adding a seat at the table she balked and offerred to have a friend go in my place if I didn't want to attend without Laura. I am full of guilt and rarely see my children now that they are older. In fact I have not seen my oldest daughter since last June when her sister graduated high school (and then only briefly). Out of guilt, I called my daughter and said that I would have Laura entertain herself and I would attend the dinner. In hindsight, I am torn. It will be the only opportunity to see my daughters outside of the formal graduation ceremony. I do not want to offend or slight my partner I told her (partner) about my dilemma and she seemed sure they could add her to the reservation. When I told her my daughter seemed reluctant, she made a joke and we did not continue the conversation. Do I take my lover out to dinner in a strange town and ignore my children or, do I snub my lover and see my girls as it is a rare and fleeting opportunity? Thanks for any input one might have.