| | Re: Why Did Our Spouses Not simply Divorce Us?
Cake-Eating. Selfishness. Lack of Respect for the BS. Not wanting to end the gravy train of free money, child-care, etc.
One of the big things my cheating ex-wife did was carefully control any access I had to her "friends" and family. After I divorced her, I found out she had been telling her friends that "She was going to divorce me, but I was always pleading with her not to" and that was the only reason she was staying with me.
The truth was that I was the one who decided to divorce, and through out the whole process she kept saying she never wanted to D and wanted us to R. Even after the D was final, and to this day in fact, she tells (me at least) that "she never wanted to D" and "it's all my fault we have a 'broken family' with our kids". Not once has she ever admitted to me what she told her friends and family.
I'm sure she did that to manipulate appearances, and never thought I would actually find my ba**s and stop putting up with her abuse. To her, saving face and never being 'at fault' for anything bad (i.e. a majority of a her actions), is far more important than the truth. But, according to her, she is the most truthful person alive. Really. Just ask her.
We walk the plank with our eyes wide open.