Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy22
I really enjoy sex with my husband, but it often takes me a very long time reaching orgasm-- even with a lot of foreplay. Is this normal? It can take up to 45 minutes or even more sometimes! I usually feel so guilty about it that I just let him go ahead and finish. I certainly wouldn't want him to feel like I don't enjoy being with him because that's not the case. Sometimes I find myself in high anxiety before sex because of this. I just want to be able to relax and not worry about my performance. This isn't a new issuefor me, but after talking with some of my girlfriends, I seem to be the only woman who has this problem. I've talked with my OB-Gyn and she says my hormone levels are fine and everything is fine physically. I'm scared to try prescription stuff to raise libido. I'm afraid the higher levels of testosterone in that stuff will cause me to grow hair in unwanted places!! That certainly wouldn't benefit my sex life! Any other women out there have this problem??
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I going to assume this question was meant for other women, and will disregard responses from the guys.
Think about the atmosphere you are in when having sex.
I know that if the lights are on, some women cannot reach orgasm. If the partner changes positions, some women cannot reach orgasm. Trying to reach orgasm at the same time as the partner can inhibit orgasm in many women. I find all of these things distracting so it is lights off, no roaming from one position to another, and orgasm happens when I am ready, regardless of his being ready.
In other words, there are things that men prefer that can work against a woman reaching orgasm. Forget the "two types of orgasm", and have the orgasm that you recognize by taking time to discover what your partner can do to help you reach it.
This means you will have to train him, but that is what most satisfied women do with partners. Throw out everything you have heard about how sex should be, and start getting what you desire. Telling your partner what to do and how can go a long way towards your achieving great sex.
Talk to other
women, we are working with the same anatomy.