martino

Swedish,

Well i've asked about about counseling before and a big no, today i mentioned that it would be a good idea if she could go in with an open mind. She works in a clinic and handles that in our house, so she knows it's up to her to book an appt. Odds are she is just hoping this all blows over so things can get back to "normal" again.

We do not have anyone over at night, that just wouldn't work as our son is very quirky and freaked by environmental change. Grandparents will take him when they can, sometimes over night but he isn't easy.

Interestingly i've been paying very close attention and really listening to what she has to say even in small talk (You're laughing right now I know it!) and carefully deciding how I will react to what she says. I can't believe how negative and pessamistic she has become for a woman of 37. Undoubtedly a lot of that has rolled off on her from me. So i'm taking the Skinner approach of only reinforcing positive comments and not negative. I mean in every day talk, nothing serious, but I think it sets attitudes. I've also decided that since she will most likely hope the storm blows over and not pursue counseling that I am at all times keeping in 100 percent control of what I say and do and being careful about expressing myself thereby keeping a safe mental boundary to not show all of myself. She isn't stupid, she will get the point and maybe something will happen. Or she may really like it and it will backfire on me! who knows.

All in all I can't complain too bad, it's just a lot of daily life doldrum going on...the big D isn't happening I don't think.

E