Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - At an impasse over spouse spending time with opposite sex colleague.

Reggiethelion · 06-15-2012, 10:34 PM

Hello, I would like other's thoughts. I have been married for a decade, kids, both of us in early-mid thirties. Recently, my wife began running again to get in shape, which I thought was great. Problem for me is she has chosen a single male colleague-with whom she already spends 8 hours a day-as her running partner. He is in his mid twenties. They run together 5 times a week-3 days after work and on the weekends. I don't suspect infidelity at this point, rather I think he is genuinely just a convenient running partner and my wife wants to get in shape. But it still bothers me quite a bit. So I told my wife that I thought it was inappropriate for her to be running alone 5 times a week with a single male. She disagrees. We have had two significant arguments, one very serious with her storming out in tears at 11pm and coming back an hour later over the issue. I am more upset that she won't just stop because I want her to than because of the actual issue at this point, because I feel if the tables were turned I would do so for her. She says she has committed to training with this person for a race and if she backed out now it would look terrible at work. I have said some hurtful things out of anger over the issue, which I later told her I didn't really mean. Our relationship is seriously affected, we are avoiding open hostility but we have been basically communicating on a superficial level for several weeks. I really don't know what to do. She won't stop, and I won't become ok with what she is doing. Any ideas?

06-15-2012, 10:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
Reggiethelion Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 9	At an impasse over spouse spending time with opposite sex colleague. Hello, I would like other's thoughts. I have been married for a decade, kids, both of us in early-mid thirties. Recently, my wife began running again to get in shape, which I thought was great. Problem for me is she has chosen a single male colleague-with whom she already spends 8 hours a day-as her running partner. He is in his mid twenties. They run together 5 times a week-3 days after work and on the weekends. I don't suspect infidelity at this point, rather I think he is genuinely just a convenient running partner and my wife wants to get in shape. But it still bothers me quite a bit. So I told my wife that I thought it was inappropriate for her to be running alone 5 times a week with a single male. She disagrees. We have had two significant arguments, one very serious with her storming out in tears at 11pm and coming back an hour later over the issue. I am more upset that she won't just stop because I want her to than because of the actual issue at this point, because I feel if the tables were turned I would do so for her. She says she has committed to training with this person for a race and if she backed out now it would look terrible at work. I have said some hurtful things out of anger over the issue, which I later told her I didn't really mean. Our relationship is seriously affected, we are avoiding open hostility but we have been basically communicating on a superficial level for several weeks. I really don't know what to do. She won't stop, and I won't become ok with what she is doing. Any ideas?