Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - At an impasse over spouse spending time with opposite sex colleague.

Entropy3000 · 06-15-2012, 11:05 PM

Well, I understand her dedicating herself to running.
I like to powerlift. I typically train four days a week. I do this solo however. If I had a training partner there is no way that partner would be a woman, let alone a single woman. Yeah I know I am talking about powerlifting but my point is that no matter what the activity was, whether it be biking, running or bird watching, me spending that kind of time with another woman is just going to bond me closely with her. My wife would not stand for that and it would be a non starter for me if she had any activity like that with a male co-worker.

Workplace affairs happen when a pair bond at work and the bond us especially close if they are working to achieve a common goal. This happened to me. Now these two have an extracuricular activity together. Are they a pair all of the time or do they run with others as a group?

How much time do you have to bond with your wife alone? Who is with the kids when she is training?

This seems inappropriate. It seems like she is setting herself up for a relationship that is potentially going to cause your marriage problems.
I think this would be awesome for both of them if they were both single.
Is he divorced.

A big red flag is her not wanting to respect your wishes. Strictly speaking that is a level of unfaithfulness right there. I get that she wants to see this through. I get that it is important ot her. The fact this is a point of contention between you two now pushes more towards the OM.

There actually may be a bond between them now. This will get much much closer as time goes on.

I realize there will be a race, but I would assume there will be other races after that. Maybe even some travel to races and so on. This is somewhat of a separate life style for her. I doubt this will be a one and done for her. Have you asked her?

The male co-worker aside how much pressure does her running put on the marriage if any on its own? Is her running five days a week in an of itself an issue for you?

FWIW, I think storming out and leaving is a bit too much drama.

Do you think she discusses you marriage with him at all. Do they email each other of text one another?

06-15-2012, 11:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
Entropy3000 Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 8,932	Re: At an impasse over spouse spending time with opposite sex colleague. Well, I understand her dedicating herself to running. I like to powerlift. I typically train four days a week. I do this solo however. If I had a training partner there is no way that partner would be a woman, let alone a single woman. Yeah I know I am talking about powerlifting but my point is that no matter what the activity was, whether it be biking, running or bird watching, me spending that kind of time with another woman is just going to bond me closely with her. My wife would not stand for that and it would be a non starter for me if she had any activity like that with a male co-worker. Workplace affairs happen when a pair bond at work and the bond us especially close if they are working to achieve a common goal. This happened to me. Now these two have an extracuricular activity together. Are they a pair all of the time or do they run with others as a group? How much time do you have to bond with your wife alone? Who is with the kids when she is training? This seems inappropriate. It seems like she is setting herself up for a relationship that is potentially going to cause your marriage problems. I think this would be awesome for both of them if they were both single. Is he divorced. A big red flag is her not wanting to respect your wishes. Strictly speaking that is a level of unfaithfulness right there. I get that she wants to see this through. I get that it is important ot her. The fact this is a point of contention between you two now pushes more towards the OM. There actually may be a bond between them now. This will get much much closer as time goes on. I realize there will be a race, but I would assume there will be other races after that. Maybe even some travel to races and so on. This is somewhat of a separate life style for her. I doubt this will be a one and done for her. Have you asked her? The male co-worker aside how much pressure does her running put on the marriage if any on its own? Is her running five days a week in an of itself an issue for you? FWIW, I think storming out and leaving is a bit too much drama. Do you think she discusses you marriage with him at all. Do they email each other of text one another? __________________ Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." "Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up." "It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us." Last edited by Entropy3000; 06-15-2012 at 11:13 PM.