Thank very much for your comments and input.
The spa thing is neat but I do not know the area, it is quite rural and see below regarding accomodations.
My SO and I talked last night a bit
I expressed the stress I felt over the situation
She made light of it again and said,"I will relax in the tub for an hour and read."
I explained again that there were no hotels/motels in the area as they were all full last October
I opted for the only thing available for parents/family which was a room in the dormitory (with two single beds lol)
I explained that I doubted there would be a private bathroom and not sure but maybe only showers.
so she says, I will watch TV and I say, Hun, there are likely no TV's in the dorm rooms as students usually supply their own, etc.
She says. do you want me to go?
I say Yes.
I say, I'm getting to the point I do not want to go.
And then: subject dropped although there was a bit of discussion from me on the lack of "intimacy" at such a dinner and how different a sit down dinner with the ex and ALL (12) of her family will be from my past two experiences....graduation parties held in and outside of a camp on a lake where I was able to mingle with my daughters outside with my SO and sisters. Polite and involved yet still seperate.
Sitting at a dinner table for 1-2 hours will not only be very deja vu like, it is likely to be much more uncomfy for all.
My paranoia surfaces.
Seems I continue to teeter on the idea of arranging an after dinner rendevous with my daughter and her fiance' as opposed to or in addtion to The Dinner.
Struggling here...knowing me I will likely bear the dinner as best I can and ask my daughter to meet my SO and I at some locale after dinner.
