Re: new here and lost!
Missmissy it seems like you have already given yourself the answer at what you need to do. He has to admit that he has a problem himself before anything can change. Without that you are at a stalemate. You are going to have to give him the ultimatum of getting help for himself with his addiction (drugs/alcohol it is still an addiction) and both of you need help for your marriage, if he refuses to do this for the marriage and your 7 children then it is time for you to leave and look after the children and you. A wake up call is what needs to be done when the behavoir doesn't change he still has an addiction that needs to be addressed. He may still need help getting over the affair but you have proved yourself for 5 years now, that is just an excuse at this point to make you feel guilty and wash over his addiction. It is what he uses to justify his drinking and it justifies nothing. I understand his pain but if it is still fresh in his mind then he needs counceling to help him deal with it. Please seeks a qualified professional, clergy or someone that can help you and your kids. He and only he can help himself. You have a responsibility to protect your children.
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