Originally Posted by SageMother

I going to assume this question was meant for other women, and will disregard responses from the guys.

Think about the atmosphere you are in when having sex.

I know that if the lights are on, some women cannot reach orgasm. If the partner changes positions, some women cannot reach orgasm. Trying to reach orgasm at the same time as the partner can inhibit orgasm in many women. I find all of these things distracting so it is lights off, no roaming from one position to another, and orgasm happens when I am ready, regardless of his being ready.

In other words, there are things that men prefer that can work against a woman reaching orgasm. Forget the "two types of orgasm", and have the orgasm that you recognize by taking time to discover what your partner can do to help you reach it.

This means you will have to train him, but that is what most satisfied women do with partners. Throw out everything you have heard about how sex should be, and start getting what you desire. Telling your partner what to do and how can go a long way towards your achieving great sex.

Talk to other women, we are working with the same anatomy.