Originally Posted by Astonefeather
Is this something that is considered infidelity? Or does it get a different label?
All I know is that if he promises not to stay with her and does so anyway, I will never trust him again. And that's a pretty big problem. Knowing my husband he will do what he wants to do and then say "I didn't feel well and I needed to stay in town" or something to excuse the fact that he blatantly disregarded my feelings on the matter.
Maybe if I address it with her? But I worry that will make it just a big dramatic mess of stupidity.
I have tried open honest discussion in the past and it has only backfired on me. These people don't play fair. You disclose how you feel; you try to get them to make the same disclosure; you try to negotiate; gain agreement and move forward.
It just doesn't work. there are times when the one who is looking to negotiate is viewed as the weaker part. and as the say in the Miranda rights: anything you say can and will be used against you in the (social) court of law.
Let's strategise here
1. You are married to him. so this is not a fly by night relationship.
2. You are carrying his baby. One would hope that even the grandparents and other in laws will be interested in helping to create a stable home life.
Tell your husband you do not like him taking time off to help this woman and that you will ask around to see if other people in the neighbour hood can help. and then do just that.