So if a f@cking meteor gets thrown into the pond, we're going to see a little bit more than algae and fish being rearranged.
WhiteMousse I really hope you are correct. My whole life is turned upside down and I'm sick over it. Every day seems the same now...get up, go to work, come home, take care of the kiddos, and then spend a lonely evening squirming and trying to figure out how to get better. I think I've hit my depression stage now. I haven't felt this sort of down ever before. In religious terms, since you're a religious man, I try to think of it as an act of mercy on God's behalf. Maybe now is the best time for my marriage to go down the sh*tter if it must....? I don't know. I hope that he feels it too, eventually. I just always thought that if 2 people break up, they both suffer. More or less, but both. I seem to have the single parent thing, single earner thing, divorce thing, and watching my husband screw somebody else thing. I wish it was one thing at a time. But perhaps it is an act of mercy. Perhaps I'll get this over with now and move on with my life. Be happy. Or perhaps I'm digging too deep into it and I need to take it for what it is. ****. When things get this complicated I think we tend to look for something else to help us.
Almostrecovered, again you're right I think. He ran. He's a kid. What I keep thinking is though is that unabled him! I mean, not consciously. I thought to love was to give. Except I did and he didn't. A hard lesson to learn, but one I will most certainly carry with me from now on. I'm glad that 30's isn't old and you speak so sweetly of your wife. Maybe one day somebody would speak of me like that... I don't think I'll let that happen though. I don't trust myself and my pick of men anymore.... even though he was only my 2nd serious relationship and my first one was the complete opposite of him. And yeah, it's the peak years and they are lonely years for now. At least I have my kids. They couldn't give a **** less about my faults. They love me just they way I am
norajane, what you said about being a nerd and now feeling like the man is spot on. It certainly appears to me that he is running and looking for validation. What sucks is the fact that even though it's about him, he took me down with him. And my pride hurts. This whole thing is frankly humiliating. Maybe I needed to be taken down a notch though? I never thought this would happen to me. Perhaps we all need to learn to never say 'never'. Yes, it's all about him. Give me some time and it won't be in my book anymore. I just get worried that he'll screw up the kids. Two nights ago my little 2 year old started crying hysterically and calling out for him. I texted him to give his son a call and to just say goodnight. No response. He was away with the 18 year old for the weekend. It's all about him. He didn't just break my heart, he broke my little boy's too. I'm thankful my little girl is only 6 months old and couldn't care less right now. I don't want my kids to have rejection issues. But it's all about him... selfish git.
