Originally Posted by C123
Drover, I hear what you're saying, but most of the guys who implement the NMMNG tools are doing it because they are unhappy with how they feel about themselves in the context of their marriage. It is an indirect way of "dealing" with your wife because you're trying to change yourself so that you feel better about your interactions with your wife and your place in the household.
Most nice guys are pretty satisfied in the fact that they are nice guys. They think that being a nice guy should make any woman happy. They have to change that mindset because being a nice guy is having the opposite effect than what they think should happen.
Therefore, NMMNG is a method to changing yourself, but only because you don't like where being a nice guy has gotten you. Most nice guys would just prefer that their wife appreciate who they have and show them how much they appreciate it. Sadly, that doesn't often happen.
I don't think this is true at all. From my own experience I resented her every second I was a nice guy, and resented myself for my behavior too. Nice guys might tell themselves a lot of things, but when they stop lying to themselves they know they're not happy with being what they are.
The advanced state of marital decay is only the trigger that finally makes them look at the truth about themselves.