Quote:
Originally Posted by lordmayhem  Looks like a post and run, didn't even stick around to read any replies. Maybe he'll come back. |
I didn't run. It's been a weird couple of days.
Things here are mellow, but tense at the same time. I am really bummed, confused, ashamed, clueless, etc...
I am not going to make a big deal out of this for a couple of reasons:
First, we have a 6 year old boy with autism. If we split up, I lose my boy. I don't care what anyone says about divorce court and child custody, I'm the one with the penis, therefore, I will pay child support and only get to see my kid every other weekend. Women usually don't buy this but I have seen it with nearly every friend that I have that is divorced. The woman gets custody, whether she's right or wrong.
Second, I have too much invested. I refuse to start over. I have worked too hard. She stuck with me through two tours in Iraq, she paid off all of our bills, cars and everything while I was gone. She could have taken me to the cleaners, but she didn't.
I don't want to be looked at as Robert Deniro's character in 'Casino', and I'm sure that I do, but I just can't break it off. I know that she will move back to the west coast, and I would never find a job there that pays as well or offers the benefits that my job here in NC offers.
I gamble if I stick with this. I will absolutely lose everything if I break this up.
This kid that she was talking to really blew off her comments. He never engaged anything, almost like he was scared. Personally, I would have jumped at the chance if I was him, but he just kind of giggles it off. I know this doesn't mean a damn thing, but there were no Rico Suave messages from him. He is a nerdy kid. I would be in county lock-up now if he was hitting on her, but there was absolutely nothing there to acknowledge anything that she had said.
I have spoken to nobody that I know about this. I have only vented on here. Everyone has a 'throw the ***** out' approach, and I don't have the heart. She stuck with me when I came back from Iraq and I couldn't sleep, and had difficulty adjusting back into civilian life. She's warm and very nice and an awesome mom. This kind of stuff isn't in her character, or never has been before. I can't live without my boy. He needs me every day, and I spent many, many months away from him while I was in the desert, and I refuse to ever do it again. I'm hurting, really ****ing bad, and needed somewhere to vent.
