leanne

You sound a lot like us. I wanted us to go to bed together every night. Or at least most nights. We pretty much do, but we don't have the timing restrictions that you have as we are both 8-5ers for the most part.
He used to like to stay up late and only get like 5 hours of sleep per night. I used to always go to bed at 9pm and liked waking up early. He started making an effort to go to bed earlier and I started making an effort to stay up later. He even told me yesterday he wanted me to start making him go to bed earlier again because he likes going to bed early. Makes it much easier to wake up early and get the work day over with earlier. I don't know if we will maintain this the way it is now. I'm sure things will change even more over time. But for right now it is working. It just took us figuring out what will and what won't work for us both. I've also tried to chill out with the things I envisioned would be and try to focus on the good parts of being married instead of the unfulfilled expectations that were probably not practicable to begin with. That has helped with less tension at least.
Good luck with it. It's certainly a fixable issue to say the least. Just takes some patience and effort on everyone's part.