Cindy

"While I'm perplexed, (given how sexually intense she was during the first part of our relationship) that these ghosts are reason to withhold now, I'll remain open to the possibility."

Chopblock, I was the same with my husband. Trust me, it's perplexing to me too. The best way I can explain it, is it's easier to have sex, for some abused people, with people you don't have much of a bond with. After having a sexual experience that causes you to have to disconnect emotionally to survive it, it's very intimidating (for lack of a better word) to give your whole self over. You're giving over the part you couldn't protect before, the physical, as well as the part you could, the emotional. For some people, that's too much at first.

If you read up on sexual abuse, you'll see that a lot of the victims act out by having either several partners or none at all. Of course, it's different for everyone.

You aren't to blame and shouldn't pay for another person's actions. Just try to continue to be patient (I know, easier said than done) and talk about it. You have to get it out in the open and deal with the ugliness. There really is no good reason to withhold sex, in my opinion, unless there's an injury or illness. Take care.