confusedinTX

It sounds like (sorry if this is wrong) that some things happened in the past that have caused some mistrust. You said something about chatting with women online... Maybe some of that is coming up again. Try to be as open and honest about everything with her even if you feel you shouldn't have to. That would go a long way in helping trust issues.

Regardless it doesn't sound like she is into the swinging idea. As a mom with a 18m old I know what it is like being tired. I don't think swinging would help that. I think we do ok in our love life....sometimes are better then others so maybe she is just going through a low period right now and will get out of it. Also sounds like there might be some communication issues. I know people bring it up a lot but the book about the 5 love languages by chapman is great. If you figure out what her language is and can made her feel loved that could help.

My only other piece of advise is I don't know if she stays at home or what with the kids but if she does maybe she can join a moms group to get out of the house. I did that through meetup.com and it helped me be a happier wife and mother. My daughter really enjoying playing with the other kids too. Through the group I go on mom's night out once in awhile and that helps a lot. Getting a break refreshes me and my husband loves it when I get home from them. Maybe a little fun time would help her out and in turn help our your sex life.