Sweetp101
Your marriage is broken at a lot of levels. You and I had an exchange on another thread about committing to the marriage in order to give it time to heal. As I stated there the length of the commitment is dependent on the individuals and the circumstances. You will have to determine that for yourself. A part of your last post here confuses me and I don’t mean to throw you under the bus here but…. You state that if you are out alone he calls you every ten minutes. That indicates that you feel he doesn’t trust you but you admit you have been having an affair for 9 months.
It is likely he already has an inkling about the affair. I sense much confusion in you and that is understandable. I still think the first step for you is to end the affair as it will not help your situation whether you stay in the marriage or not. Your depression is not helping either so I hope you have sought help with that. There appear to be a lot of things that need tending in your family. With time and help things can get better. Prune the problems one at a time and see if you begin to see some light in your future. Best of luck to you all.