We have not gone to MC. I am quickly finding out that I rug swept and am being affected now, 2 years later, more then ever before.
I wish I could say I have forgiven him, but I would be lying. I want to forgive him. I've read books and listened in on a seminar on how to forgive.. but I can't seem to do it.
Forgiveness is supposedly a choice. You either choose to forgive or your choose to let it tear you down everyday. After all, its hurting and effecting us holding onto this hurt and guilt more then its hurting our spouse who caused all the pain.
That being said, if forgiveness is infact a choice, why are we choosing to not forgive and allow this to repeatedly crush us?
My choice is to forgive my husband and live happily ever after....but my heart isn't letting me make the decision on forgiving him or not.
So mind boggling.
