confusedinTX

I can identify with your wife because my father in law is like your mom. My inlaws are indian and muslim and wanted my husband to go with an arranged marriage which was not something he ever wanted. They freaked when they found out about me (tried bribing, not talking to him, threatened, tried to get him fired, etc). It was unreal. His mom would start to defend us by saying if my husband loved me....but the dad would crush that. Anyhow 8 years later his dad is still hoping for a split even after our 2 weddings (American and Muslim) and our first child. His mom is at least nice to me now. I have requested not to go see them but that my husband and daughter could go but my husband doesn't want that. Anyhow I don't know what your whole situation is but you hinted it might be complicated like ours. What I have come to realize with my father in law that helps is he would be like this with anyone my husband picked because they weren't picked by him. It makes it somewhat easier to take but it is still hard. I have to thank you on behalf of your wife in that you are standing by her. It is hard on you to do but it is the right thing. If you feel like there is nothing your wife can do to make it better then just stand by her. While it doesn't fix what your mom is doing it will mean the world to your wife. We fight about his parents because he doesn't stand up for me and at times defends them over me (sometimes admiting later I was right). There is also the stress factor. If you cput some seperation from yoursrlf and them for awhile maybe they will realize they rather have you then pick fights about your wife. If not it comes down to you have a wife that loves you and as long as you stand by each other you should be ok. Best of luck and if you need to talk let me know.