Originally Posted by floxie
There probably is a part of me that hangs with my ex out of spite. But the main reason is that he listens to me. Doesn't make me feel bad that I can't do this or that. Doesn't coment on the fact tha my hair is clearly falling out. I don't feel pressured to put on makeup or be beautiful when we go out. He doesn't tell me to be more proactive or give me all these solutuions that a woul be impossible to implement. And when he sees me struggling to walk, he doesn't walk ahead or walk quickly or tease me, he just helps me. Like a normal person.
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Wow! Your words, your rationalizations, and even your denials are 100% straight out of the cheaters handbook.
do you realize this?
You need to understand how many relationships get killed because a SO reconnects with an EX, and then proceeds to be "just friends" with all good intentions. Then over time - they suddenly discover everything wrong with their current spouse, and just how wonderful and caring their EX is suddenly.
Please please pull you head out of the fog and realize that this EX IS very much twisting and influencing your views on your husband. He has become your emotional go-to guy, and he has become the one you are putting your effort into.
Yes, it sounds like your husband did hurtful and wrong things - he made mistakes in the way he's been a husband to you.
And now you've paid him back by bringing an EX into the relationship, and letting that EX worm his way in between your husband and you.
The mere fact that you are comparing the EX to your husband shows that this EX isn't just a friend - he is someone you are emotionally replacing your husband with.
Lady - That's called an EA.
Now you're building up a head of steam of justify why your husband should be divorced from you.
Please realize what really is going on in this relationship of 3 people. Realize you are each step of the way, pushing out your husband, and moving toward being in a PA.
Even in this thread - you've gone from I love my husband, but not sexually attracted to him - to "I'm gonna divorce him, he's not giving me all that need, not like my wonderful EX who's there everyday to be so loving and kind"
You are already cheating emotionally with the EX.
And it's about to get you to pull the trigger and end your marriage.
Then just one more rationalization away and you'll be acting on those Sex feelings you will find yourself having for EX.
I know you've got a history of being a cheater before marriage, so you obviously have very bad boundaries - this is likely helped you get this far into the EA without ending it.
Or are you being honest with us here - has the relationship with the EX already gone PA? At least kissing etc?