Originally Posted by Zanna
Your unhappiness does not give you the right to string your husband along or steal his choices.
You are living an unauthentic life and you are forcing your husband to do the same. This is not fair.
Your H did not get a choice in your decision to cheat. Since you cannot do the right thing and end your affair, then you need to tell your H the truth so he can make decisions about his own life. You cannot be trusted to make mature or rational decisions in the midst of an affair.
Read the studies on affairs. This so called relationship you have with OM is doomed. It is built on a foundation of lies and deceit. It is born of ugliness and betrayal. That is not love. It is a band-aid for your problems.
If you are in an unhappy marriage, you talk to your spouse, you seek counselling and if that fails, you seek a separation or a divorce.
Cheating is not a solution that will have a positive outcome for anyone involved.
Zanna, you're right about the relationship with OM. Whenever I'm with him, I always feel guilty, and worried of getting caught. I also feel that he is starting to feel frustrated in our situation, thats why I ended it. I at first, thought that maybe it was "love" I have for this OM, however, I still can't wrap around the idea of loving two of them at the same time. I know thats not possible. I am eating my own cake, I know and I have the best of both worlds with the two of them in my life. But I also know, that Grass is not always greener on the other fence so I made the decision to stay with my husband. Tomorrow, I will talk to him and tell him the truth. He will probably divorce or he might not. I don't know.