Originally Posted by Tornbetweenthetwo
Zanna, you're right about the relationship with OM. Whenever I'm with him, I always feel guilty, and worried of getting caught. I also feel that he is starting to feel frustrated in our situation, thats why I ended it. I at first, thought that maybe it was "love" I have for this OM, however, I still can't wrap around the idea of loving two of them at the same time. I know thats not possible. I am eating my own cake, I know and I have the best of both worlds with the two of them in my life. But I also know, that Grass is not always greener on the other fence so I made the decision to stay with my husband. Tomorrow, I will talk to him and tell him the truth. He will probably divorce or he might not. I don't know.
Before you tell your husband, decide what you want. If you want to fix the relationship with your H, then you must tell him this right away. But first he is going to be angry, hurt and in the worst emotional pain of his life. Hopefully someone will be along in a minute to post the guidelines for how to help your spouse heal from your betrayal. (Or I will try to locate it).
Whatever your H says after you tell him will not be his true feelings. Feelings change. They are not set in stone. He might want to divorce you in the moment but he may also change his mind after the reality of divorce sets in. This will all be dependant partly on how you handle the situation.
You can fix your sex life with your H OR you can at least try. And if you can't, then you can divorce, but right now you still have hope. There are books you can read. Counselling is also an option. But you need a plan. A rational mature plan not a plan based on stabbing your H in the back.
Stop the contact with OM immediately. Send him a NO contact letter. This is not a relationship that has a future despite the warm fuzzy feelings you may have now. OM was willing to cheat with a married woman. He has no respect for marriage or for family. You do not have a future with this man. Do not fall for his lies.