Just did some research, found out that in CA if you are married less than 10 years you don't have to pay alimony... we've only been married 3.5 years. On top of that we don't have children and he isn't disabled so he wouldn't get any money anyways.
Good! There's your golden ticket out of the situation.
After you leave don't look back and don't take him back. People like what you described don't change much. No one stops working due to "stress" when you have bills to pay. And responsible men with some self respect don't have their wives write their resume and apply for jobs on their behalf.
(Looks like you tend to attract lazy men