Originally Posted by swede1775
ok, I need some help, I have a wife who doesn't see anything wrong with contacting, staying in touch, visiting and on one occasion stayed with an ex.if she wants to do that, its ok. but not with you as her husband.
I have tried everything I could think of to make my point, [COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]I have asked several opinions from friends and they all say the same answer, it's wrong[/COLOR]. forget your friends. the only reason youre asking them is because you let her gaslight you and you havent got the balls to say what you feel and stand by it.
My wife just left Friday for a week long trip to Ft. Lauderdale with a couple girlfriends, jokingly I asked if she had an ex down there, she said yes but had no idea where or anything about him.And right there is when all plans go on hold. Or she can go, but all her **** will be out on the sidewalk when she returns and the doors will be locked and deadbolted.
Well, after a gut feeling, I checked the phone records today, there was some texting going on starting last night after we talked, a total of 24 back and forth total, I looked up the number and sure enough it was him, this is the first I've seen this number and went back through our records for the last 12 months, nothing.
She keeps insisting that I'm the one she loves, period, we have been married for 10 years, 2 kids, but have not been romantic (as in no sex???) for over a year and a half(I'm told it's because of my weight and her bad back), fat people and disabled people have sex, shes gas-lighting you.I don't know what to do, I'm lost, confused, hurt, the man in me says give the ultimatum, (Hold up, are you scared of her or something, or do you secretly want her (ex)-ex bf to give her the poundin- AHEM, 'Romance' you haven't gotten in 1.5 years? Man up unless you like feeling what you're feeling now. Because if you don't, then there's more to come, and by that time you wont even have your integrity left, it will be in her purse, on his dresser, along with your gonads. ) but the family man in me doesn't want to give up seeing my kids, and my wife.
Am I wrong in feeling betrayed? Stop looking for validation on how you feel. And for damed sure dont seek it from her. Or her skanky assed friends. I have talked to her best friend and she said not to worry, didnt I just tell you not to seek validation from her friends??? who do you think gave her the moral support to go ahead to visit the ex bf? While you babysit the kids? Do you think this wasnt planned? but isn't that kind of a tainted opinion? Do I confront her now or wait until end of week, will everything go underground? No. You wait, and watch this forum. More people will come with good advice and information. I don't know what is the clear path, am I overreacting?
The clear path is the one you make FOR YOU. it don't involve her, though she might walk along side it for a time. Maybe. But as for you overreacting? Lets say if your username was Chernobyl04261986 your reaction to your wife was a gross underreaction.