Originally Posted by Enginerd
I'm not married to a foreigner, but I work around a bunch of white American's who have married Asian women that they met while working offshore. It's been my observation that someone in the marriage has to compromise their lifestyle and beliefs to make the marriage work. Since I'm around mostly nerdy (beta) men who are happy just to have a women it's usually the man who compromises. They all ended up financially supporting the wife's family, some bought family homes offshore and most adopted their wife's style of child rearing. Their US homes become Asian looking and some even attend their wife's Asian church. IMO they ended up loosing their personal and cultural identities, but I suppose that could happen to the wives as well. To this day I've not met one of these couples that appeared to be in love on both sides. I think most of the guys were being used. I think your Dad was right to question it.
totally makes sense... guess who's living with us now... yep, you guessed it... her parents. she wanted them to come here so they can experience a better life... only problem is they are old, don't work, and since they have come here so late, they don't qualify for govt healthcare
compromises are cool... but a compromise isn't a "my way or the highway" type thing... which is what it sounds like most of your associates end up with.
that's not cool with me. i'm happy to find a medium though... no problem there.
Originally Posted by SunnyT
I would go to marriage counseling for a while before throwing in the towel. It does sound like you are just looking at two completely different lifestyles, but maybe counseling will help you two to find a compromise. And if not, you'd at least rest easy knowing that you tried, and it could ease the break-up.
we are going to our first session now... i just wonder what they could do at this point. if nothing else, putting our minds at ease about splitting up would give us a little solace.