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Rowan · 06-26-2012, 08:08 AM

My husband has a long history of inappropriate jokes and comments. He's also one for wagging eyebrows, leering grins and general smarmy-ness whenever he thinks of or hears something that is (or might be, or might be only to him) the slightest bit sexual in tone, content or nature. I'm fairly high drive (though not compared to my husband). I think sexual jokes can be funny. I love a good double entendre. I'm not a prude. But to my husband there are no limits to when or where these sorts of things are appropriate.

He's the type to tell my best friend that her tits look great in that dress (in front of her and our children), grope me in public, leer at breastfeeding mothers, skinny-dip by himself in the pool at an engagement party (at someone else's house), overshare to an appalling degree about our sex life to anyone who will listen, and make sexual comments to girls in the 16-20 age bracket who also happen to be the neices, daughters or little sisters of our friends or business associates. He's just all sex, all hands, all overt flirtation, all exhibitionist, all innuendo, all the time. He's like the worst dirty old man you've ever seen, but he's been that way since his 20's. And in his view, everyone else just needs to lighten up and I'm way too sensitive when he's just having fun.

With him it's just part and parcel of his complete lack of boundaries combined with poor impulse control. He simply doesn't have boundaries, doesn't think other people ought to either, and views any boundaries that anyone else has as a personal challenge to him. He doesn't understand, and won't believe me when I try to tell him, that it doesn't come off as funny most of the time to other people. It just seems crass, tasteless, even a little creepy. Sometimes people do laugh, but all too often it's the embarrassed titter of people who've been made profoundly uncomfortable and aren't sure what to do about it.

But, he's a grown man and he can conduct himself as he sees fit. When he gets to be too much for me, I walk away or leave the party or otherwise remove myself from the situation. I also no longer apologize to others for him, attempt to cover for his behavior or make excuses. He's a grown @ss man.

06-26-2012, 08:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Rowan Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 296	Re: Sexual Immaturity? My husband has a long history of inappropriate jokes and comments. He's also one for wagging eyebrows, leering grins and general smarmy-ness whenever he thinks of or hears something that is (or might be, or might be only to him) the slightest bit sexual in tone, content or nature. I'm fairly high drive (though not compared to my husband). I think sexual jokes can be funny. I love a good double entendre. I'm not a prude. But to my husband there are no limits to when or where these sorts of things are appropriate. He's the type to tell my best friend that her tits look great in that dress (in front of her and our children), grope me in public, leer at breastfeeding mothers, skinny-dip by himself in the pool at an engagement party (at someone else's house), overshare to an appalling degree about our sex life to anyone who will listen, and make sexual comments to girls in the 16-20 age bracket who also happen to be the neices, daughters or little sisters of our friends or business associates. He's just all sex, all hands, all overt flirtation, all exhibitionist, all innuendo, all the time. He's like the worst dirty old man you've ever seen, but he's been that way since his 20's. And in his view, everyone else just needs to lighten up and I'm way too sensitive when he's just having fun. With him it's just part and parcel of his complete lack of boundaries combined with poor impulse control. He simply doesn't have boundaries, doesn't think other people ought to either, and views any boundaries that anyone else has as a personal challenge to him. He doesn't understand, and won't believe me when I try to tell him, that it doesn't come off as funny most of the time to other people. It just seems crass, tasteless, even a little creepy. Sometimes people do laugh, but all too often it's the embarrassed titter of people who've been made profoundly uncomfortable and aren't sure what to do about it. But, he's a grown man and he can conduct himself as he sees fit. When he gets to be too much for me, I walk away or leave the party or otherwise remove myself from the situation. I also no longer apologize to others for him, attempt to cover for his behavior or make excuses. He's a grown @ss man.