Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Lost

Amplexor · 05-19-2008, 11:18 AM

wright1

Whether to stay in the relationship is a choice you’ll have to make. She has done a terrible thing to you and your marriage and you will need to try and determine if you can forgive her and trust her in the future. That she lied about the physical aspects will make trust for you very difficult but marriages can be repaired after an affair. As for TOM if your marriage is to have any chance at all she will need to agree to no contact with him ever again. Since she is very confused right now you may not be able to make that a requirement until after she commits to working on the marriage. If she is not able to make that commitment you then you should considering moving on. I will disagree with Cindy that by being forgiving and wanting to put your marriage back on track in no way reflects your status as “a man”. To walk out the door when being slapped in the face like this would be the instinctive and easier thing to do. I certainly understand that an affair is a deal breaker for a lot of people and that is fine. But spouses in these circumstances need to make their own decisions on what to do. To stay and fight for your marriage shows your commitment to your wife and child. It shows you are compassionate as well as even handed. Not something that is easy to do at a time like this. I commend you for taking time to think this out and seek advice before you act. I would recommend that if you elect to stay that you should be as strong and unemotional as possible. Try reading Love Must be Tough by Dobson. He cites many case histories like the one you are in. My best wishes for you and my sympathies for your pain.

05-19-2008, 11:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
Amplexor Moderator Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 896	Re: Lost - Losing Wife wright1 Whether to stay in the relationship is a choice you’ll have to make. She has done a terrible thing to you and your marriage and you will need to try and determine if you can forgive her and trust her in the future. That she lied about the physical aspects will make trust for you very difficult but marriages can be repaired after an affair. As for TOM if your marriage is to have any chance at all she will need to agree to no contact with him ever again. Since she is very confused right now you may not be able to make that a requirement until after she commits to working on the marriage. If she is not able to make that commitment you then you should considering moving on. I will disagree with Cindy that by being forgiving and wanting to put your marriage back on track in no way reflects your status as “a man”. To walk out the door when being slapped in the face like this would be the instinctive and easier thing to do. I certainly understand that an affair is a deal breaker for a lot of people and that is fine. But spouses in these circumstances need to make their own decisions on what to do. To stay and fight for your marriage shows your commitment to your wife and child. It shows you are compassionate as well as even handed. Not something that is easy to do at a time like this. I commend you for taking time to think this out and seek advice before you act. I would recommend that if you elect to stay that you should be as strong and unemotional as possible. Try reading Love Must be Tough by Dobson. He cites many case histories like the one you are in. My best wishes for you and my sympathies for your pain. __________________ Amp Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.