swedish

I'm sorry to hear your weekend did not turn out so well. It sounds like you are so wanting to please everyone and in the end none of them are pleased. I've been there myself.

I would suggest thinking of a plan on how you intend to handle your daughters' events going forward (other graduations, a wedding some day) and stick to the plan without letting guilt get in the way.

I think by flip-flopping your emotions between your daughter and SO it's having the opposite affect that you want (you are torn because you love them both but they see you putting one as more important than the other)

It may come down to telling your SO you are sorry to have involved her as your ex was being less than accommodating and next time won't have her endure that since you have no control over what your ex has planned. Or decide ahead of time that you and your SO will plan any future encounters with them...take charge of the situation that you have control over...I will walk you down the aisle with my SO in the pew, but we will not attend the reception following unless we are both on the invite.

Once you decide don't let their negative emotions break you down...you can feel bad for them but stick to your guns because while you love them very much you can't make everyone happy all of the time.