| | Re: Oblivious, but why???
Dont stress. You didnt know because your WS didnt want you to know. They took significant steps to hide it from you. My H started his EA in late March early April-I didnt know anything about her for a couple of months. I mean he NEVER said her name. Then all of the sudden he couldnt STOP saying her name. Still it took me months to really really catch on b/c I was concentrating on a sick child. He knew that would be a distraction for me and he exploited that. You cant think like a cheater. Thats why you didnt know. Our child was sick-the idea of caring about ANYTHING else is mind boggling to me. Yet he managed.
I am also not dumb or naive but I did believe him at face value when he told me things even when it didnt make sense. Mostly b/c I wanted to I think. But my gut screamed loudest so I stopped caring about what I wanted to be true and focused on what WAS true.
So it happens to us all. There is a period of time when we, the LS, dont know b/c we arent looking. B/c we trust them. Yes even blindly. That ability is forever lost.