Lost Entity

First of all, hey there, I'm a newcomer to the forums. I'm not usually browsing forums related to relationships, but I'm hit by a situation that is wrecking me and I hope I could have some advice on what to do.

I've been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for two and a half years. We were everything that could be defined a perfect couple by my standards, doing everything together, being together all the time, supporting each other, being special. I suppose everyone knows what it's like. The first year we had was the very definition of bliss, in short.

After the first year, I started my studies far away from her. The exact locations don't matter, what's important is that I couldn't visit her just like that and didn't either, even on holidays. The idea was that it'd be easier for us both that way. We continued to be happy, but as the year continued further, my motivation started to crumble.

I had started worrying about our feelings fading, about us not making it through the time I needed to finish my studies. I expressed my concerns to her, increasingly pessimistic over time. Each time she calmed me down. She was the stronger one of us always, believed we could do it, she had no problems with us being far apart. We continued to the end of our second year happily.. but then.. things started to change.

Her father was diagnosed with cancer and she was very devastated by it. I was of course being supportive, but.. something started going wrong. She started blocking her feelings for me from me, and we obviously started talking less too. It was a new situation for me, as the previous two years we had been together, both in real life and online, practically all our free time. I know that I should've been supportive, understand her situation and give her space, but I failed. Hard.

Hurt by her ignoring our feelings more often, I started being pushy. I failed to give her space, I kept asking her to spend more time with me. I started doing anything I could to get her attention, even threatening that we should end our relationship. I felt guilty afterwards each time, as I know I was doing her wrong. I was just too weak to be the support she had been looking for. We had our nice times too, but there were fights often.

Things had been getting worse along our final half a year and then finally two weeks ago, we had a big fight over phone, I made her cry with my attacks. After that, she said it's over, closed the phone and blocked me on all the usual internet applications people use (skype, msn). It isn't the first time either one of us has threatened it's over, we have had fights and have ignored each other for a couple of days, but never to this extent.

So now, for these two weeks, I've felt absolutely horrible, scared to death things are over, and most importantly guilty. I know I'm the one who ruined everything. I'm the one who failed our relationship. I want to make things up to her, be the support I couldn't be before, I want to fix our relationship.

Everytime I've tried to call her, she hangs up and closes the phone. I've been blocked non-stop on skype/msn since two weeks ago. Visiting her is unfortunately not an option right now. The only ways I can reach her are text messages on mobiles or email. But I can't know if she even reads them - I haven't received a single word from her since then. I'd just want to believe she does read them.

In my messages, I've tried to tell her how sorry I am, how horrible I've been these 6 months, how I want to make it up to her.. how much she means to me, how important being with her was to me.. but none have been answered. I believe I've tried to tell her, ask her, beg her.. every single day.. for everything that I could, but she just isn't answering.

So.. do you believe there is anything I can do anymore? Is this really it? I know I'm the bad guy in this story, but hell.. I want to make it up to this girl, because I love her insanely and she deserves to be happy. Is there anything I can do?