| | Re: I want to die right now
He said they were not a couple, take him at his word. In order for him to figure out if he still wants to be your husband, he has to try and live his life. That includes going out and meeting new people to see how it feels. There are consequences to the actions people take, this is the consequence for your infidelity. The man you love, who is 100x more hurt than you are right now, is with someone other than you.
A few days ago you said you were willing to do whatever it took. Now you are talking about killing yourself. Show some backbone and tough it out. He has given you no reason to doubt his word, so do what you have to do. Pray with the chaplain, pray by yourself, meditate, reflect on what you did and how it made him feel. Use this time to try and understand the situation and how serious it actually is.
The fact that he is still talking to you at all is a gift. Try and see the positive in that.