| | Re: i have a crush on another man...
I find it interesting that you mention the amount of money the OM has to pay his ex-wife. Are you enticed by the thought that he has money?
You have not give us any particulars about the kinds of things that your husband is not supporting for with his family. So we cannot help by giving you ways of handling situations.
You need to find a way to tell your husband how serious you are that there is a problem. Since you are at the point of thinking about having an affair and enjoying the attention from the OM, you are thinking of ending your marriage... yes that is what an affair is.. the end of your marriage.
So tell your husband that he has been hurting you terribly by putting his family of origin first all the time. That you are his first family now and you HAVE to be first for your marriage to work. You feel second best and have come to the point where you feel like you don't even care about your marriage any more. You are seiously thinking of divorce. But you would like for the two of you to work to fix your marraige. Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you.
Also, ask him to read the books "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" with you (see the links in my signature block below).
If he refuses the counseling follow through by going to an attorney. Let him know you are filing. If he refuses to reconize that there is a serious problem when you are ready to leave, he does not care enough about you and your marriage. You have your answer.
But do not cheat. In the end YOU will suffer terribly from your own actions and you will lose a lot of the standing you have to complain about your husband's actions after you cheat.