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Old 06-30-2012, 03:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
SimplyAmorous
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Default Re: When we have sex...Vanilla sex as all I get

Quote:
Double Trouble said: I love her but I am not sexually happy or fulfilled
Have you sat her down and relayed this reality to her ...trying as best and lovingly as you can ....just HOW this is affecting you deep within...You are half of this marraige, and she has a right to know....


Most women DO NOT understand men and these incessant urges ... I know in my young marriage, I didn't "get it" either...and my husband did virtually nothing to clue me in.......He took care of MY needs just fine...jumping for that......just like YOU are going down on your wife "ALL THE TIME", she likely never feels "any urges" at all...so she is not left feeling "desperately horny" and craving sex with big fantasies running through her head. You might as well forget that happening...as you are the HIGHER drive...

BUT...depending on how much she cares about you and wants to please you ...ONCE SHE gets the realization of how men feel loved through sex....and understands how this is affecting you... then you may have your wife on board....willing to try new things - some spicing.


MEN are in their Prime early in marraige and women get more heated up later on -it seems. Plus some women are sexually repressed in some ways, not being comfortable expressing their sexuality. How to arouse that ....depends on her...if she is open minded enough to engage you. You are obviously the more creative force....so unless she is outright rejecting you, you will need to continue carrying the torch. Me & my husband are in mid life - I am the more creative force.

Sounds like one of her primary Love languages is "Acts of Service" if she wants more help around the house, and yours may be "Physical touch" -but with variety! If you both can sit down, come to understand what you both are deeply craving from the other...both coming towards each other...a good start.

Test here : The 5 Love Languages | The 5 Love LanguagesŪ

Would your wife be willing to sit down with you , reading a book together....to explore these things, to better understand each other -sexually?

This book really helped ME when I was wanting something more from my husband, more aggression, more creativity, but I found I was more the "erotic" one, and he was "sensual"... I couldn't change him....but I could get him to go along with MY creativity. So all was well. But I had to quit beating a dead horse. We all have our styles.

Quote:
When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life


10 libido types ....

1. Sensual
2. Erotic
3. Compulsive
4. Dependent
5. Stressed
6. Disinterested
7. Detached
8. Addictive
9. Entitled
10. Reactive.
At the end of the book, it helps you wade through how you can work with your libido differences or if they just might be too much to bare. Obviously a High Drive "Erotic" may have some trouble being with a "Disinterested" libido type.

Tips For Dealing With Different Sex Drives In a Relationship - InfoBarrel
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