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Originally Posted by LOSTfan  I feel like anything I do will be a mistake. If I cry in front of her, I'm not a man. |
That's correct. Very bad to cry. Not manly. I made that mistake a long time ago. Once. Figured it out real fast.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan If I don't cry, I'm not sensitive. |
Correct. "Sensitive" is not an attractive trait. Be Stoic. Like a man.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan If I try and help the ws, I'm not allowing her the chance to prove she's trying. |
Exactly. She needs to step up, recommit, and prove it.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan if I don't help, then I feel nothing will change. |
Unfortunately, only she can change it. The problem is with her, you can't fix it. Only she can. Get out of the way and see what happens.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan If I trust her, she'll do it again. |
You don't even know if they really stopped and you bungled your surveillance and blew your own cover. You can trust her after she's been straight for a few years. Until then, she doesn't get trust. She's proven she doesn't deserve it.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan if I do to much to verify,ill push her away. |
She's already away.
Just get better at not getting caught. The internet is your friend. Just look at all the support you got here.
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Originally Posted by LOSTfan I've read no more mr nice guy. I was learning alot, but dday changed everything. I'm taking everything so personally now. |
Read it again.
Your wife is not attracted to you. She's been working her way into that frame of mind for a long time. Women take their attraction cues from other women, so since she has firstly beta-ized and secondly cuckolded you, after you specifically warned her off, she doesn't feel like you have any options as far as other women go. She seems to be correct, based on what you're sharing with us.
Do other women hit on you? If not, why not? You really need to up your alpha game and getting caught running surveillance did not help you one bit. However, you've still got to do it. Or just kick her to the curb, since that is max alpha. If she thinks you're capable of that and she gets the idea you might become attractive to other women, it may change her perceptions of you. A simple rule, move away and they will draw closer.
What's your workout program?
