Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - How to explain to kids? Tell them the whole truth?

cdm9999 · 07-01-2012, 10:01 AM

I have posted my story in threads titled "My husband wants to rekindle with his first love" and "Should I name OW as Co-defendant in Divorce?" (the latter is the more updated, abridged version)...sorry dont know how to link the threads

My question now is how and when to tell the kids (ages 18,17,12,6)....... I am in the process of filing for D which will happen next week and he will be served shortly after. He is having an affair and this is why i filed. I am devastated and still love him but i have no other choice since he wont cut her off.

I am thinking I should talk to my WH about how to tell the kids.... I didnt talk to him yet. I feel like I/we should tell them that there is a OW and that is why i am D him. I have a feeling that WH wont want me to tell them this. He probably will want to say that we just dont get along and he hasnt been happy in the marraige. What do you think? Of course, the 6 year old wouldnt be a part of this discussion.

I want to do what is best for kids but I don't want them to think I am D their father for any other reason but the infidelity.

I also want them to know that I don't want them to accept the OW and that I would concider that a betrayal as their mother since she was a part of this. Am I wrong here?

BTW.. the kids dont have any idea the impending D is happening...they see their parents arguing and stuff but that is nothing new

Opinions?
Thanks.

07-01-2012, 10:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
cdm9999 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 80	How to explain to kids? Tell them the whole truth? I have posted my story in threads titled "My husband wants to rekindle with his first love" and "Should I name OW as Co-defendant in Divorce?" (the latter is the more updated, abridged version)...sorry dont know how to link the threads My question now is how and when to tell the kids (ages 18,17,12,6)....... I am in the process of filing for D which will happen next week and he will be served shortly after. He is having an affair and this is why i filed. I am devastated and still love him but i have no other choice since he wont cut her off. I am thinking I should talk to my WH about how to tell the kids.... I didnt talk to him yet. I feel like I/we should tell them that there is a OW and that is why i am D him. I have a feeling that WH wont want me to tell them this. He probably will want to say that we just dont get along and he hasnt been happy in the marraige. What do you think? Of course, the 6 year old wouldnt be a part of this discussion. I want to do what is best for kids but I don't want them to think I am D their father for any other reason but the infidelity. I also want them to know that I don't want them to accept the OW and that I would concider that a betrayal as their mother since she was a part of this. Am I wrong here? BTW.. the kids dont have any idea the impending D is happening...they see their parents arguing and stuff but that is nothing new Opinions? Thanks.