Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Deejo · 09-15-2009, 02:01 PM

Here's the thing:

Marriage is selfish, relationships are selfish, love is selfish.

You can paint that in every negative light you choose ... as you clearly have - or acknowledge that the fundamental driver isn't nearly as complex as you make it.

You become involved with someone as a result of how they make you feel.

You fall in love because at some level, this person meets your needs - consequently, to continue to have your needs met, you try and meet theirs so that the wheel will keep turning.

The flipside is also true. Wanting to leave a relationship is also selfish (abuse excluded - although that is still self preservation). It is the signal that you aren't getting what you want any longer.

Everyone wants the beautiful, shiny, package. Most everyone also know that the beautiful, shiny, package is only a means to get you to buy into the idea in the first place - but we willingly do it anyway. That isn't a bad thing.
There are far more ways for this whole endeavor to go off the rails than there are to stay on track.

09-15-2009, 02:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
Deejo Moderator Join Date: May 2008 Location: MA Posts: 5,085	Re: This is How I feel Honestly.. Here's the thing: Marriage is selfish, relationships are selfish, love is selfish. You can paint that in every negative light you choose ... as you clearly have - or acknowledge that the fundamental driver isn't nearly as complex as you make it. You become involved with someone as a result of how they make you feel. You fall in love because at some level, this person meets your needs - consequently, to continue to have your needs met, you try and meet theirs so that the wheel will keep turning. The flipside is also true. Wanting to leave a relationship is also selfish (abuse excluded - although that is still self preservation). It is the signal that you aren't getting what you want any longer. Everyone wants the beautiful, shiny, package. Most everyone also know that the beautiful, shiny, package is only a means to get you to buy into the idea in the first place - but we willingly do it anyway. That isn't a bad thing. There are far more ways for this whole endeavor to go off the rails than there are to stay on track.