| | Re: My husband is addicted to Porn and won't have sex with me.
[QUOTE=carmaenforcer;87503]I can speak a little on this topic having had a 15 year porn addiction, 10 of those years in a relationship with a woman that was just as freaky as I. That was great and no problem was apparent. My current Wife would turn and run after throwing up if I tried half the stuff that I used to do with the ex. We had our own porn stash, she had her favorite stars and I had mine, we each had our sex toys, we were freak.
Although I don't think that the porn has ever been the actual problem/issue, in my life but my deviance.
I have always been a freak, the porn was just something to look at that mirrored my internal "demon(s)" and I am an artist too boot and can see images in my mind, in great detail and so my own mind was the most perverse place I enjoyed the sickness.
On the other kind of side topic to this thread.
Growing up, I had a cousin who's house I would always frequent when my Mom was working. This boy cousin of mine was two years older than me and we grew up together.
I remember my Mom always warning me not to let anyone touch me in my privates and if they do to tell her and I always thought that she was just tripping over nothing.
I had never felt in any danger of that and I thought my Mom is sick for thinking that kind of stuff.
I do remember an uncle, (the Dad of that cousin of mine) that ended up coming out later that he was a molester, letting me climb up on his bed, I was very little like 3 or 4 or so, can't remember but I could talk already, and my Aunt coming in right away and taking me out of the room and sitting me in the living room to watch tv.
No molestation actually happened "that I can remember" and at the time I didn't think much of that memory other than me liking to climb things and a nice uncle that took the time to even play with me.
Later it came out that he had been molesting a step daughter of his with my Aunt and an adoptive daughter of that same Aunt. She knew about it and he had a kid with her daughter that they ended up raising as their own.
This kind of thing apparently does happen more often than the news reports it, or families talk about it.
Anyway, I ended up being a sexual deviant, porn addict and I don't have "having been molested" as an excuse, although apparently I came close. I think some of us are just more sexual than others for reasons unknown.
If I had to blame something, I would have to blame the fact that my Mother used to hound me all the time about not looking at listening to or even thinking of inappropriate material. Being pentecostal that's a long list of stuff, so my interest in all things sexual at a young age was that analogy of the cookie jar.
Just talk about it with him, what you see as a problem is simply him enjoying himself, indulging his sexual fantasies.
I agree with the person that said that he does not need a partner in it but I disagree i think with that same poster in that this is an issue that he needs to walk away from in order to be truly happy. I have toned down my sexual exploits since my new Wife is a total prude but I still have the perversions in my head and like to surf porn sites to satisfy those desires.
Not harming anyone, plus if he does not wish to have sex, he doesn't have to. Not just women can stop having sex with their mate and be well within her rights. Women have emotional issues and stop having sex with their husbands and almost everyone cheers them, you go girl.
Men should have the same freedom.[/QUOTE]
Seeing I am probably the nameless woman who said this: Excuses are made to suit the person with this habit...Why would you marry a woman who is a prude having such a high sexuality as you do?..The person who walks away won't be truly happy as he is in sexual heat with his nude harem that he sees... However, with work he can find it...It is a terrible habit...His Upper....His Wife's downer....
On your statement that "Man should have the same freedom"????.... Come on..Poor excuse...And what does a man gain for playing sex with a computer?....That is besides the possible loss of his erectile powers in life?...When you become your own greatest lover, how can women duplicate this?...You become a quick draw artist in bed with your partner...That is if you are able to get it up....She better not ask for foreplay as you can't last that long as your mind is on the hot babe on the computer....Hey guy, I know life...Sexual Dysfunction among men is now epidemic....I know, I used to Mod that Forum among many others...Wife's crying and husbands begging for help....And believe me I have helped a couple of them...Told them how to find it again....I will not argue this point...I will simply state my views.....In the long run, who wins and who loses...