| | Re: Substance And Alcohol Abuse
The idea of actually getting to an Al-Anon meeting might be pretty intimidating. I hope you can take it on faith when I say that you'll get over that feeling very quickly. Usually, you'll go in and feel really out of place while they get through the first "rituals" of their meetings - people will notice that you're new and smile at you, maybe say hi before the meeting starts, but then you're on own while they do their basic readings. Once those are done, they'll ask if there are any newcomers, and when you say you're new, they will invite you to speak privately with one or two people away from the group and help you get acquainted with how Al-Anon works.
Also, even though you think you're being blackmailed (even emotionally), you need to maintain your relationship with your kids. That is far more important than your anger or feeling victimized. Having that opportunity actually can give you a chance to talk to her parents and let them see both sides of the story rather than just her skewed view.
Her "neat freak" parents sound very controlling and intrusive - which may have contributed to her seeking relief from stress in unhealthy ways even before she knew you.
None of this is easy, but it *is* worth it.
None of it is easy, but it *is* simple if you work a program like the one offered through Al-Anon.