| | Re: Married for 8 Years and fallen for another women
Don't risk your family for a second more.
There are NC letter templates here, hopely some one will point you in the right direction. Write it, send it and then block all avenues MOW could contact you. You go NC cold turkey. You commit to it, lifelong. OW must go from your life, forever. At most you'd be her rebound relationship, her exit affair. This asuming she's not lying her teeth about the state of her marriage. Detox. Keep the poison away.
You will go through a period of withdrawal. Brain chemistry will adjust itself with time of NC. It will pass very soon, it's only some anxiety, then you will think every day more clearly and you will tell your self WTF! I was thinking?
Cut off any trick your mind will play to break the NC. You can't remain "friends" with OW, it's just not possible after crossing those boundaires. You go "mental" NC. You can't control fleeting thoughts but you can control how you react to them, you visualize a STOP sign, you picture you family, your little ones, you refocus on the right thing instead to wondering into the "what if" self indulgent fantasy territory. You choose it. Every day, every minute if necessary.
Then you confess to your wife. It's likely taking account of the obvious red flags.