Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Assuming that it's his...

The good news is that if it's his he believes in use of condoms even though he's had a vasectomy, so for other than birth control.

The fact that it's in a package still could either mean he didn't use it and didn't fool around, or that he did fool around and didn't use it.

Due to your remote location, do you guys do any sort of training programs to enhance morale and welfare? I'm thinking he could have gone to a briefing and condoms were handed out. My Chinese nanny used to have a lot of condoms on her person due to these sorts of trainings. Some places hand them out on a regular basis, with no regard for personal situation, as a matter of course.

But maybe I'm being overly generous.

I hate it when people don't check their pockets before putting their trousers in the wash. Except when there's cash involved. My rule is anything I find in the laundry is mine.

So, here is my personal opinion about the condom, given that it was found in the laundry. He forgot to check his pockets. To me, that indicates that he is confused. My guess is that he was thinking of having an illicit relationship and using a condom, but changed his mind. Then he got all worked up about what he almost did, and was obsessing about it and was very confused. The confusion is what led him to forget about the condom he had in his pocket. That and lack of sleep due to working shifts, which is maybe how he even considered having an illict relationship. Opportunity and lack of presence of mind.

Try to keep an open mind about it. If you are lucky and the above scenario is close to the truth, then you can have some kind of discussion about the pitfalls of your current work arrangements.

Edited to add...I went back and read your add'l info. It does sound like he has been very stressed. Stress can cause reduced blood flow to the brain and while this sounds like a very minor thing as he has continued functioning in all other respects, among the effects of extreme stress is reduced impulse control. This is a time when you need to look at your marriage vows and think about being your other half's keeper. Look at it first from a point of view of protecting the marriage. I wouldn't have this view except that you said about the things that happened in his family. It sounds like death has started to come knocking close to his doorstep. He could be having some kind of stress reaction. Do you know if maybe he is not sleeping well when he is off his shift? Is there someone you can talk to at your remote posting who is responsible for personnel reliability issues? I used to work as the personnel reliability program officer on a posting, and trust me lack of sleep and stress usually cause a lot of men in particular to do dumb stuff. They want to feel close to someone who will make it okay, and they get all mixed up and confuse sex with comfort. I mean, it is comfort, but then that makes them even more screwed up that they did that. What they really want is to make the stressors go away. It's kind of a panic reaction, using sex to alleviate stress. Unfortunately it can become an addictive cycle. Sigh, it's so much easier just to go to the clinic and ask for a sedative. But most guys don't want to take meds. I'm not being sexist, this is just how it is.