07-04-2012, 03:23 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
| | Re: A year out from dday as a WS (EA)...
Originally Posted by iheartlife
She cannot endlessly punish you for cheating. If it helps, you can have her PM me, I forgave my husband for a long term EA. I was able to see how withholding sex (not on purpose, but just low desire for a while) is cruel, and that I had to change and improve as a partner.
Thanks for your offer and commenting, but she hasn't expressed an interest in TAM, at least when I told her about it last year. I may revisit that idea again.
Are you sure she hasn't emotionally connected with someone else? Revenge affairs do happen.
I know about RAs and I know my wife's patterns and personal values, which she has declared many times since we got married and especially after the discovery of my EA. I'm sure that she hasn't emotionally connected with anyone else during this time.
Has she read the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass?
We have read the Shirley Glass book. I was able to get a lot out of it, but my wife has been emotionally traumatized by my actions and wasn't able to internalize much of it. I've been on TAM for a while and have heard of the other books.
I may look into the "His Needs, Her Needs" book. The "Nice Guy" book isn't going to do much for me. I'm not that guy, but I do want to do what I can to save my marriage. I'm just not going to plead and beg for it. Should it need to end, it will, but in the meantime, I'm doing what I can to make sure that I keep myself going.
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