Originally Posted by yottazenzen
In the meantime, 60 days from now, I will be on the market ladies. 40 year old, loving dad, told I'm good looking, in good shape, funny, caring, and also....would never hurt you by cheating....
I am so sorry you have to be here on this board licking your wounds from your wife's selfishness.
I too was totally blindside. Just days before Dday I was telling a friend how lucky I felt to have my STBEH.
I belong to an in person support group that I can only get to once every couple of months due to distance and time issues.
Still, It seems so many of the spouses saw themselves as lucky to have their spouse, until they found out about the affair behind their back, sometimes going on for years.
Also, in that support group are people who divorced the cheater and then found someone so much better. Someone who shares their monogamous viewpoint and also wants to honor their vows.
One problem I see in society today and why cheating has been rising in the past ten years, is that their is no consequence for the cheater.
In the divorce is the state is no fault their is none.
There is one case, however, where an woman sued a boyfriend for giving her herpes and although the judge wanted to throw it out, it went to jury and the jury awarded her $900,000.
I think if more spouses sued, if they caught an STD from a cheating spouse, fewer spouses would cheat.
In some states, a handful, a betrayed spouse can sue the other man or woman for alienation of affection.
If more states would allow this, IMO, cheating stats would drop again, instead of rising.