Quote:
Originally Posted by Looking to heal  One main one was didn't listen to any advice here. For me many people came forward with what you might call tough love. The advice might have been good but when you are just devastated and feel low, people calling you sucker and soft, and putting images of your spouse getting banged don't lead you to want to listen...
I think the intent is to be like a slap in the face or a douse of a cold water but for me this approach doesn't help.
I would ask the veterans to consider if they really want to help, to modify their delivery and perhaps more would listen (just my humble opinion) |
Going through your past threads, you insisted on doing it your way in spite of what people here were telling you. I warned you that you were in False R. I deal with the facts, whether they be good or bad. That's the way I roll, and that's how I do my job in the real world.
And now you're saying that it was because of the approach of people like me? I don't think so, and I'm not taking the blame for your False R. You were told repeatedly that your approach was going to lead to False R. Remember your post from 06-28-2011, 03:09 PM?
Another Perspective Quote:
Originally Posted by Looking to heal A lot of the advice didn't feel natural for me (I am definitely a nice guy).
Many people might blast my approach,call me stupid,naive, I don't really care.
For me this approach has worked and she is starting to talk about OM,closure etc. which tells me it has gone from something they had outside of our mge to something within it.
I am pretty sure we are going to be OK.
For those of you a little less militant in your views, I want to say that sometimes a softer approach can work. |
You were proudly proclaiming your way was successful and you were in R. Own up to your mistakes fully and stop trying to blame others. You just didn't like what you were being told, plain and simple.
I remember your story and you were adamant about your nice guy approach.
And now you're back. I hate to say I told you so, so I won't. All I got out of it was a warning from a moderator.
But good can come out of this. Let this be a lesson for all those lurking, that if you disregard the advice given on this site, you're at much greater risk of going in to False R. BTW, in your other thread you fell into an EA and was heading toward a PA. You aren't in an affair now are you?
