| | Re: Words of wisdom
You are in a really frustrating place.
Reading through your posts it seems that
1. You have been aware of some on -going tension around your husbands commitent to his job. Maybe some resentment on your part? Maybe some lack of compromise on his part?
2. Things came to a head when you made a choice that seemed good for your career and consequently for some of the hopes and dreams that you have for the future -
3. This has brought into sharp relief the extent to which your H appears to be inconsiderate of your feelings about how much he works and how little time that leaves for you as a couple.
4. You are feeling and hurt on top of the years of nagging disapointment about feeling second best.
5. However you want to make things work -
6. Your H is at best ambivalent about this
7. You have mentioned quite a few times that your H is motivated by the desire to 'look good' - and that what others think of him is important.
8. You have now related this to some his relations with younger colleagues? at work -
9. You are being out in the position of trying to come up with answers/ explanations....
As others have said it is so sad but it is unlilkely that your H is going to cough up those answers -
Although you will probably get them in 'the fullness of time' as they say....
He sounds like he has some of the hallmarks of passive agressive beahviour -
not liking confrontation - and yet finding a way to get exactly what he wants
You are having to adjust your vision of your relationship and of your H very quickly -
it is so shocking when they don't let you in on how they are feeling until it is too late
So sorry you are going through this - but in a way it is better that it has come to a head now before you've had those kids you want.
Have a think about whether this is the guy you want to be the father of those kids....
sorry if this is a harsh way of putting it