I know many websites recommend nuclear exposure and a NC letter as a means to deal with infidelity of all kinds. We did both but perhaps all wrong, That got me thinking about how well that works as a preventive measure for future infidelity with the same AP or even new ones?
Does it really work long term or is it a false sense of security? Should one re-do a NC letter if it was done wrong? Does it just make them want to contact you more to prove something? I've actually seen it recommended on relationships sites as a way to "win your lover back" method.....*sigh*
When D-day happened for me, my spouse left the house for a few days, during that time our son was hospitalized and he stayed there with him. He decided to end his EA and wrote a NC letter to AP without even knowing what one was or having me look at it before he hit send. He forwarded it to me ( along with her response) and basically it was all wrong. It was more of a last love letter and even included a PPS _" I don't want this to end, and this was hard, kiss"
She wrote a quick terse reply, but then followed up with a more heartfelt one more than a month later (April ) to which he didn't respond and he gave to me promptly. She even had the nerve to start the letter with, "I'm sorry if this gets you in trouble"
I exposed to everyone we knew but not on her end, she lives in the middle east and they didn't meet through social media but through a ipad game. She is single, etc..there are no common friends, facebook connections etc. Our social circle/family all know of course so he had to face that.
I wish he had known how to write a proper NC letter with stern finite language with clear sign that future contact is not desired, but at this point, it's 5 months past d-day and there has been NC so maybe just let that dog lie?