| | Re: How do you cope?
I would force those ugly thoughts out by telling my self "I diserve good things". When I first confronted my wife I would force those thought out every second of the day....repeating "I diserve good things".
Don't let this negitive crap define who you are...You diserve good things...don't let her unhealthy choice to take the easy way out by decieving you instead of leaving the marriage by letting her sh!t define who you are.
Its not what knocks us down that counts, it how we get back up that matters. Remember her behavior and her action are all on her she now owns that for ever, but today you diserve good things.
She had the moralless character to do those things, not you you are the better person and should hold your head high.
Talking to my formed wayward wife, sometimes it was passionate sometimes it was just clumbsy, by every time it was on the run and never fullfilling. The point here is you may need the painful details to understand what really went on. In my case the thoughts I had were nothing compared to what really went on. I have seen enough porno's to know what they did, but I needed to hear it from my wife. This being another consequence that she had to face for me to know what I was forgiving.
Some times thinking the OM (other man) is in a clown suit with a big red nose making fart sound can help.
Any way I personaly have to have the ego that tells me that the OM's had nothing over me and i was way better. A confindence in my self that would not allow those mind movies in. I will not let my wifes adultorous behavioe define me.
Stay positive and educate your self about infedelity there is alot out there you still need to read go get some post dramitic strees counseling and check your self for STD's.
It sounds like the OM is single so I doubt you can expose the affair to his GF/wife?